***This is something I wrote in 1999 and most of it still applies to me today, so I'm keeping it---even in 2004.***
Well, basically, I'm the kind of guy that could walk out into the middle of the street BUTT NAKED and no one would even notice. I know, I'm sure I'm not one for good first impressions, but hey, you know what I mean though, right? I mean, no one really notices ya. And you go through life, not being way too social and not making really too many friends and stuff like that. You know the whole deal; you don't get out much so you have a lot of time on your hands--- and I mean a LOT of time. I have more than 6 websites, 7 if you don't include a site I don't update anymore because I've upgraded it to a new site called www.petrafied.net. I keep out of trouble, basically. A person like me who has such time on his hands SHOULD (not meaning it's a good thing) be hanging out with street punks, smoking, drinking, using drugs, listening to bad music and having sex--- basically living the wild life. Now I know this may sound a little harsh coming from me, but... It may even seem like, "Hey, we all know that. That's like telling us 2 is the sum of 1+1". True. You can call it a stereotype, yeah, but it looks like lots of kids, unfortunately, live up to it. Lots of people know that when you have lots of spare time, you get into lots of trouble. You know the saying, "Idle hands is a tool for the devil." But I am here to tell you about someone who didn't let Satan get all of him. WHOLE LIVES can take a different course when you add one 5 letter word to it: JESUS. Satan, of course, did infest my life with lust, which I regret and I pray every single day that I can get it under good control, with the help of God. But I tell myself, HEY, just think... other people don't have it nearly as lucky as me. I'm talking non-Christians, guys. They basically have NO PROTECTION from Jesus at all! They go into sin blindly and they don't suspect a thing is wrong. And when they do finally break down, they don't know where to turn. And I wish they would listen to me when I tell them about Jesus, but most don't. I know where to turn when things go wrong. I was brought up in a Christian family. Even though things didn't go the way God had planned them, he didn't say, "WELL, OH, UM, THEY FAILED ME. SO THAT MEANS I CAN'T INFORM THEM WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG IS. AND I CAN'T TELL THEM HOW TO STRAITEN OUT THERE PROBLEMS." Now, to someone who was a BIG TIME sinner who committed murders and crimes and you know that you've done millions of things wrong and there was a fat chance you could ever be forgiven, you may think that sounds right... that God should think that. But that is the reason why Jesus died, so we could straighten out our problems and be forgiven! That is why I am not going out and smoking and drinking and using drugs, living a wild life. Because even though we weren't 100% percent faithful as a family, God WAS. And I believe God has a plan for me, and for my family as individuals and as a whole. I know this sounds common these days and most of you will NOT be surprised at me saying this, but I endured a divorce that my mom and dad went through. My dad had problems, and when he straightened out his act, my mother left him, even though she is a Christian. NO ONE IS PERFECT. But God will not say, "AW, the HECK with them, they're not worth it. I'm wasting my time with them." That is because God has so much more love, patience, and mercy than any of us can understand; that right there is another story in itself. The thing is, I don't want to hear a single soul out here say, "Oh, golly geeze, what the dickens would God want with little old me?" Let me just put it this way, I've done some pretty sick things, in private of course, but they are sick nonetheless. I feel guilty of them and it's taken a long time to get over this private addiction. Another thing is I get picked on my way more kids than YOU can shake a stick at, and I get picked on them day after day after day. Plus I've got this dumb mouth of mine that always seems to put me on hold and take over, and it starts saying stupid things and it scares off girls, sort of like what I'm doing now, and....;)! Anyways, I have lots of regrets. But I know when I prayed the sinner's prayer and asked Jesus into your heart, I could be used by God. The Bible says it. People's lives say it. John Schlitt is a witness. He played for a secular band called Head East, but then he did no more because of drinking problems. He felt worthless. But where was he six years later? Touring with the most popular 80's rock band ever, because God got a hold of him and changed his life and had a plan for him. All you gotta do is believe and have faith that God does and then you'll see it all start happening. Hey, my dad had a gambling problem and God straightened him out. I'm just thankful that God never let me go through the years. Instead of doing the things that the world would call normal, I learned about computers, practiced my guitar, went to church, listened to music, things like that. I'm thankful God gave me something to do with my boring teenage life so that I wasn't doing the things that some teenagers were doing. The basic theme behind this is: God DOES do things in your life even when you don't realize it. Just the tiny fact that you feel guilty and realize something is wrong when you do it or when you are about to PROVES your spiritual eyes are opened. But you gotta acknowledge that is from God and listen to it. Somehow I did, and it mostly helped my stay away from some of those crazy things teenagers do. So even if you don't think your not that much of a Christian, just know that these things prove that you are giving it more of a try for righteousness than they are. But it's not good for them to be there either, so pray for them too; their souls count. So just persevere and pray and read the Bible, it helps. I know. I can tell that God is real when I go to church and what I hear is true and what I see is hope but when I am at school or other ungodly places, all I hear are lies and all I see is hopelessness in lives. So take heart, and think on the things of God, especially when you have ungodly thoughts in your head. Listen to "Think on these things" by Petra. HA... You know I was going to advertise them; it was inevitable, huh? Ha ha ha! Anyway, just don't believe the lie that Satan tells you: "You're a worthless piece of crap." And Satan doesn't say it lightly, "Oh you are worthless"... he stresses it... "WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!" ... so don't listen to it. Listen to God. He sent his son to die for you, and even if Satan somehow got you to believe the lie that he is everything you wanted, he could never DIE for you like Jesus did! Thanks for listening to me!
Jay Cavallaro